OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
