there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
