So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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