I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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