Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
