can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
