How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
