We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
