Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
