I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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