i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
