She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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