Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
