Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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