Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
