So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
