I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
where am i from again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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