He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
