Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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