I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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