Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You may now shotgun with the bride
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
