You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize