they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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