Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
