What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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