after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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