Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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