Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
