Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
