Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
