my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When are your genitals available?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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