How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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