Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
