umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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