well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
