are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
