yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
