Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
