I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
