This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
