they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
