Got a toothbrush?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
