I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize