they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
