i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
