Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
