hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
