she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
