The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dignity is for republicans.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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