Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
