I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
