Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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