My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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