i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
