So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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