ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize