Your tits are I can't wait for
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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