you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just gift wrapped bread.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
