I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize