Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
