Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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