i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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