Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
