Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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