The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
