STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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